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Finding God. reading his word.
Its amazing to me how many of us have gone to church our whole lives, raised children to know and love him, have even had arguments and taken stands on his behalf, without ever haven read and understood the word he left us. In the Bible, God tells us who he is, why he came, and how we are to live on earth. I don't know about you, but I am 100% guilty of this.
Until a few years ago when I could no longer quiet the fire that had been burning in my spirit. It just wasn't satisfied with the small amount I was feeding it. It was HUNGRY for more. After leaving a church and for that matter, a denomination that had bee comfortable my whole life, we set out to find God and a community of people that felt the same way.
We fount it. But also what we found would change our lives forever. We found a man leading a group of people out of pure humility. He confessed to his shortcomings, but knew without a doubt what he was to do about it. He had our ear. Our first assignment after attending for a short time, was to read all of the red letters. He gave us a week. Wow...he means business, haha. We were intrigued and excited. We read all the read letters found in Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts and Revelation. Then because of his prompting, he challenged us to reread it for the next 4 weeks. We did. Something was igniting. Then, soon after that, he made an off the cuff comment about before next Sunday, read the four gospels. He even knew how much time it would take. We did it. Wow again!
So this is how it started. We went from there, to in-depth studies in different books. While Ron found himself pulled one way, I felt called to read the New Testament, even though I had just done it a year before. It took a few months, but I did it. Hugry for more, I quickly went to riding the Old Testament. I powered through all the names, the places, the do's and don'ts that at the time didn't make a lot of sense. I knew it would begin to become clear if I kept reading. It did. His word started coming alive.
I can't even begin to explain the POWER in the text he left us. Forget that it's the most read, oldest, intact piece of literature on planet earth, but it's alive! I learned God's character and nature. I learned Satan's character and nature. I learned the human character and nature. Things in life became very clear. I even asked God to make himself known to me. I asked him to speak to me, to show me things. Guess what? He did. I would wake up each morning with some new gift he gave me. An understanding, a knowing, a connection, a new heart for someone I struggled to forgive. It was blowing my mind.
I could see clearly how his word had been distorted over the years by us humans that have been deceived by Satan. I could see the beauty that he intended. I could see the Father's heart so clearly. He is love. Love requires things though. Things I needed to lay at his feet. I found myself to have a spirit of rebellion, selfishness, judgement and more. I had idols that I was hesitant to lay down, as they gave me false comfort. Day by day, he lovingly showed me the places I needed healing. Still growing and learning and seeking him in all those areas. But my hope is now FIRMLY rooted in the God I learned to re-love.
You see, the God I thought I was serving was based on my own selfish wants and desires. I was doing him favors by telling everyone what the answers were to this broken world. Who am I to think I hold that kind of knowledge? Healing step one...stop thinking I know everything. I don't. Not even close. Not one step without sitting in his word and asking him where to go, what to say, what to do. Not. One. Step.
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33
and I find it wonderful that he is talking to us about fear and anxiety here...
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow with be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble." Matt 6:24
Friends, seek first the kingdom of God. The treasure is endless.
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