Serving those who are responding to God’s call to love.

Why does God cause bad things to happen?

False. 

Why does he ALLOW bad things to happen?

*What I’m about to write about is something that can happen anywhere. It can happen right in my hometown. So please don’t get the wrong idea about Mexico. 

Sunday night, my friend and I decided to go out for cheesecake and tea after a long day. We decided to start going out more together and connect deeper because we were both going on outreach and we realized we get along together. We both had thought that we were the last people to get along because we seem so opposite. Anyways, on our way home, on a road we have walked MANY times (It was the first street I walked down when I arrived here, it was a street that I had walked down alone the previous day, and it was my favorite street! There is a block on the street where trees grow out of the concrete and it’s just really pretty) I noticed a guy walking on the other side of the road and going the opposite direction of us. I didn’t think much of him, he looked pretty normal from how far away we were. But the next thing I know is that he’s coming from behind a light pole that we were passing and started attacking us.

In that split second, all my confidence and security had been stolen. 

He was grabbing at my friends bag and I saw that he had a needle in his hand. I ran away screaming down the street and he chased after me. All I could think of was “I’m not fast enough”. 

Never in my life had I felt so alone and so abandoned. 

Then he gave up and ran down a side street. My friend caught up and we ran until we reached a busy road. I asked her if he stabbed her but she had no idea he had a needle and said that he only punched her. When we got back to base, I made her check. Sure enough, she got stabbed twice and scratched on her arm. Our whole base was informed and the cops were called. Our whole DTS family prayed over us. 

Anytime someone said God is with you or God is protecting you, I couldn’t help but say, “No God didn’t protect us. Sam got hurt!” 

On Monday, I wrote down verses of God promising his protection or not to fear man because I couldn’t read them without thinking they didn’t apply to me. I was calling God a liar. I tried going to the juice stand (opposite end of town than the attack) with a group but I was scared of everyone we passed. A homeless guy asked us for money and my heart dropped from fear.  When I got back on base, I laid in bed and just had no desire to ever go outside. Honestly, I just wanted to find a dark room and hide in the corner curled up in a ball. But with 50+ people on base, that wasn’t going to happen. 

Tuesday I stayed on base all day. But I did have it out with God. I walked up to the roof, laid my blanket down, sat at one end and invited God to come sit by me. With tears falling, I yelled and questioned God. “If you’re suppose to be protecting me, why did you let that man cross the street? Why did you let me feel abandoned? I’m hurting God.”. In the midst of my sobbing, I heart God say so gently, “Let it out. I know you’re hurting, I’m hurting too because of this. When you’re ready, you’ll understand.”

Today I was out from 9am-1:30pm all over the city with Sam to get HIV preventative pills for if you’ve been exposed. Since we don’t know if the needle was used or coated with anything, we got her the medication to just be sure. It’s funny how God knew that I wanted to be there to support Sam but I also did NOT want to be off base too long. So we had to go to 3 places just to find the pills! And those three places were all over the city. But we got the pills and Sam is good! At dinner, I asked to speak with the speaker for this week because he was told about what happens and is a pastor as well as a counselor. His words helped a lot. Afterwards I went to my room and did A LOT of devotions and kept reading God’s word. 

Remember how I said that God and I have this thing of me receiving something three times so that I know it’s from God? Well, here are the verses that came to me three times: 

Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so that I could save the lives of many. 

Zephaniah 3:17 For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful singing.

Although this event made me question God and created fear within me…it’s a bittersweet blessing. 

Sam and I’s relationship is deeper than anyone else’s here on base. 

I’m going to God for truth and understanding. I’m not running away. 

I know that he is going to bring good out of this. 

I ran faster in that moment than I ever did for the track team. 

I now have a testimony and sermon for outreach. 

I’m learning more about God’s character. Althoufh I wasn’t happy with God or nice, he was patient with me and still continues to be. 

God hurts with us on our sufferings. Suffering isn’t caused by God, but God does let it happen. He allows it so that we can grow in our faith. Create deeper roots in Christ. Know God more personally. And like Genesis 50:20 says, we can help show others God by being conquerors in our sufferings. 

As of now, I’m okay. I’m really letting God walk with me through this. But I am scared to go out of base. My heart races every time I’m outside. I know that I need to get out because the longer I stay in base, the harder it will be to get out when I think I’m ready. If I wait to be ready, I’ll never be ready. I’m scared of light poles and I’m definitely not ready to go down what use to be my favorite street, but that is part of my goal: To be able to walk boldly again and not in fear. After all, he did protect me in the first place. Sam and I are alive and healthy today. It could have been so much worse than it was, so praise God for that. 

The street

 
  

  

Leave a Reply

ORGANIZATION

Loves Calling International, Inc.
11953 Ellison Wilson Road
North Palm Beach, FL 33408
Phone: (970) 270-0314
EIN: 47-4298542